10 rules for a happy life

I like rules because they are like boundaries. If you have firm healthy boundaries, you have the ingredients of a self-disciplined, determined and on-purpose individual who knows what they want and don’t want. 10 rules for a happy life will help you set a course for what you really want. Often in life we stop setting goals without even knowing we have done it. We tire of losing and of not having reached goals in the past. Instead of facing the disappointment of it, we just stop doing it. We stop aiming for what we truly want of of life. Setting rules for yourself will be like stars guiding your ship home into the harbour. Sometimes it is a game of trial and error however you become what you do. 10 rules for a happy life have been learned from working with people from all over the world at our Centre for Healing and Life Transformation in South Africa and provide everyday, practical steps that can be the foundation to your renewed success this year.

Rules for Life are intentional, on-purpose patterns of spiritual intentions that provide structure and direction for growth and contribution in our lives. They are an exterior framework for an interior journey. Creating rules for yourself establishes a rhythm for life which is helpful for being real personal growth that, with enough practice, starts to form part of your higher or Spiritual Self. Rules create a rhythm that reflects our emerging love for God, self and others which is the very reason why we are spinning around on this big blue marble in the first place. 

Rules simply provide structure to remind us of what is really important in our lives. All great spirituality is about what we do with our pain. 

Our rules for life should be the minimum standards for your the life that you want to live and create. Rules and practices will differ greatly from person to person but the need for direction and meaning is the same for everyone. Here are 10 rules for a happy life to help you create the life you want, need, demand and deserve.

1. Always tell the truth. The truth will set you free. Lies will only confuse you and others. When you tell the truth you have nothing to hide by default and people will notice that. People are perceptive and build relationships on trust and open communication. It is true that the truth will indeed set you free.

2. Develop self-discipline. self discipline enables you to choose what you want for your life and then follow through unwaveringly with those decisions. It also gives you the power and inner strength to overcome your limitations and vices and withstand cravings and temptations for things that don’t work for you like addictions or procrastination. Developing discipline will help you to mater you thoughts and emotions and get what you really, really want out of life. 

3. Create a plan. Bad plans are better than no plans. We all need somewhere to aim. Aimlessness gets us poor results and we seldom hit the targets we are aiming for. Zombies walk around aimlessly in on mans land. Write your plans down with a title of what your life looks like, what you need to do to get there and what you shouldn’t do that will hinder you getting there. 

10 rules for a happy life
The Awakening Course

4. Progress not Perfection. A key to happiness is not “perfection”, but it is “progress.” Perfection simply focuses on what is not working one hundred percent while progress is always happening and evolving. Think about it, perfection is about the fantasy of a finished state. Death is a finished state that you don’t need to aim for. Focus on progress by making small steps count everyday and enjoy the journey not the destination.  

5. Stay out of drama. Dont rescue others, nor persecute them with gossip and bad-mouthing and don’t become a victim to your own thinking. Victims tend to blame others for our problems and get nowhere until they can become personally accountable for living their own lives. Drama is a bad habit that can be cleaned up with some spiritual hygiene. Let go easily. Be quick to forgive and keep your side of the street clean. What others choose to do or not do is none of our business. 

6. Become fearlessly authentic. To thine own self be true. Never loose your authenticity to people please. Prana or life energy flows at its peak when you are true to your own nature. Authenticity starts in your heart and requires vulnerability, integrity and courage to flourish. Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day for ourselves. Authenticity is also magnetic to others. 

7. Let go of resentments. Have the courage to let go of resenting others. It will only make you angry and bitter. Resentment takes down more good people than almost anything else in this world. Be quick to forgive. Surrender to what is. Learn to let go. 

8. Love. Daring to love in an imperfect world takes courage. Be curious and take an interest in other people, animals and nature. Love the world with deepening affection as much as you love the skin you’re in. 

9. Fail Gracefully. Dont be afraid to fail. Failure is inevitable and it happens to us on a daily basis. Failures make us kinder, more empathic and more real. We can connect more deeply with other people when we are vulnerable enough to share our failures as much s out strengths. Accepting our failures is a humbling process and humility is our surest sign of strength. Life is the process of failing forwards. 

10. Practice the law of detachment. Commit yourself to detachment by not trying to rigidly impose your idea of how things should be on others or on yourself.

For more information on 10 rules for a happy life or to see the full 21 rules for life, click here or email us at centerforhealingandlife@gmail.com

Life – You’re doing it wrong

Transforming Rationality into Brilliant Sanity

There are people rioting in first world countries, presidents dog-fighting each other on public television, vaccers and anti-vaccers all demanding that they are wholly right and the others on the left or right are dead wrong. The only thing that’s dead today is rationality, and we can thank God for that!


The world is transforming and so are you. Both of these are happening at the same time, despite much resistance from many people who could be described as those who are sleeping. Blissfully unaware that any such transformation is occurring. If we look contemplatively at our world today, and the transformations we and our world have been through it becomes much easier to see.

Contemplative psychotherapy and Buddhist psychology teach us the concept of what they call “brilliant sanity.” In Christianity we call it the Soul or Holy Spirit. It is a much higher form of thinking than any rational or intellectual pursuit in my opinion. Here is the good news about how this Brilliant sanity is changing or should I say transforming the world from the inside out. At the most fundamental and basic level, we are already awake and unconfused.

Mark L Lockwood

As more and more people suffer emotionally in this ordered, constructed and rational era we are living in we can immediately start to see that what we thought was rational is no longer working. Our politicians, our big corporates and even our religious institutions have been acting more and more irrational as the decades have past. Just turn on your television at news hour to see if this is true today. 

Our churches, mosques and temples have endorsed mass killings for centuries even though we were under the impression that love underpinned our beliefs. The problem was that it was love for self and not others which is the opposite of how the world works. Selfishness opposes nature. 

We are emerging out of a rational era. We are awakening to something new and different. Something wonderful, new and necessary. The rational era has given us more technological advancement than ever. When rationalism was born we began to see great advancements in medicines, industry and technology. War, politics, religion and education took drastic new turns to inform and educate. Information today is so freely available and everything that spread around the world with the invention of the printing press, now spreads like wildfire on the internet. We have so much information that there is little you won’t be able to know with the click of a button.

Contemplation is a kind of spiritual vision to which both reason and faith aspire, by their very nature, because without it they must always remain incomplete. 

Thomas Merton

The great caveat of rationalism

As a Perennial or Universally inclusive Christian today I have to accept the fact as the biggest religion on planet earth is that what we thought was rational action at the time, has become irrational in our understanding today. We butchered thy neighbour if he dressed differently, or even looked, spoke or worshiped the God of his or her understanding differently. Brother has always led brother like a Lamb is and was led to the slaughter and we rationally ignored loving thy neighbour or turning the other check. In fact we ignored most of what Christ taught us and even believed everyone else in the world was irrational, yet this knowledge was nothing short of insane! Today Christianity is also Transforming Rationality into Brilliant Sanity and going alone for the ride. It is really inspiring to see the world humbly transforming itself together, without the ego this time. The meek or egoless really do look like will inherit the world!

What seems rational at first is not always how it ends up in reality and the consequences of our dark and violent history proves this. Without a contemplative psychology we are able to be quite rational, but it does not deliver wisdom, emotion or any form of deep empathy for otherness and is-ness. It was rational to go to war with the world twice. It seemed rational to kill all the prophets and Saviours and teachers of love. At least at the time. What seemed rational once to the wisest minds on the earth seems like such folly and foolishness today. The love and values of humanity have been traded for moral disengagement again and again in the name of rationality. 

The Rational World is dead

If you try an rationalise this life you’re going to end up disappointed. Philosophy has a dark side, bathed in a sense of hopelessness and moral emptiness for the human condition. Philosophers like Descartes himself practiced and advocated vivisection which involved the brutal and continuous torture of animals that were often heard screaming in his rooms. This loveless torture of nature continues today on an even broader scale than the intellectual man who could see that nature and animals had emotions, feeling and deep value. He had little or not ability for a contemplative perspective of himself, nature and the world he lived in. 

Perhaps too much of it is focused on rationality and knowledge and it leaves out entirely, the musical and the abstract parts of life that are as much a part of reality as anything defined as rational. The questions of fact or fiction have opened us up to dichotomous thinking we we see everything existing as polar opposites in a black and white world; something this blue sphere is certainly not. There is too much middle ground for this to be true today. The Hubble telescope for example has left us feeling more lost than we were in a universe that is far to broad and big than we can ever begin to comprehend. Rationally at least. 

Contemplative psychotherapy and Buddhist psychology teach us the concept of what they call “brilliant sanity.” It is a much higher form of thinking than any rational or intellectual pursuit in my opinion. Here is the good news about how this Brilliant sanity is changing or should I say transforming the world from the inside out. At the most fundamental and basic level, we are already awake and unconfused. Brilliant sanity is innate and not something that needs to be created or found or gained, but it is rather an already-present reality in our state of being. Yes it lies dormant until such time as the person or persona is stable and strong enough to contain the brilliant sanity that is changing the self and the world all at the same time. 

Transforming Rationality to Brilliant Sanity

For a time brilliant sanity can be covered over by the ego, our defences and ultimately or confusion but soon enough their is a flowing of consciousness, an awaking to this brilliance in the depths of every man, creature and I guess anything with any consciousness. The days of becoming more and more rational are dead.

“I think that any time of great pain is a time of transformation, a fertile time to plant new seeds.” –  Debbie Ford

As the world embraces this business of Transforming Rationality into Brilliant Sanity we need to become more spiritually eccentric and open if we want to go along for the ride. In Pauls letter to the Romans some 200 decades ago he reminds us to “not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. This is where your contemplative intelligence together with an open heart and love for God, for self and every kind of otherness is taking us today. You just need to stop and look around long enough to see it unfolding!


The art of Contemplation

Contemplation is really the art of being able to look at reality exactly the way it is without your destructively damming cognitive distortions. It is the wondrous ability to be able to see life exactly the way it is without buying into your social constructs, your upbringing and your past traumas. In fact, contemplation may be better described as re-looking at reality.

There are 7.8 billion people in the world today. All of us with different perspectives and viewpoints. Nevertheless there is still one singular reality (truth) that we are all striving to understand, bask-in and explore. 

So our life journey is to reach a point in our lives where we are capable enough to get through all the distractions, distortions and clutter and cycle upwards to becoming much more aware of what consciousness is and how it envelopes each one of us with such love, care and an unbreakable purpose that it is almost unfathomable to the naked mind. 

At some stage in life each and everyone of us will discover that what we are thinking will never quite get us the answers that we need. Thinking always tends to end in more questions than answers at the end of the day leaving the mind afraid and the soul unsatisfied. So what we need to come to understand is that we need to go above our thinking. I suppose in science we could call this metacognition. We need to go above our intellectual capabilities and understanding and discover why IQ and EQ will never be enough to get us to a lasting place of blissful contentment that explodes the soul into light. This happens when we can contain the idea that we are not just our minds and that we are not just neurochemical cocktails in skin suits. This is the spiritual and holy journey to CQ or contemplative Intelligence. A place of realisation where you can see God in everything and everyone.

When I was younger we were all judged by the level of our IQ. As we know from history most of the judgements people have made about skin colour, the feminine and anyone who has any otherness in them normally ends in disaster. In this way too we judged any child who wanted to run and play, instead of sit as a problem child with an attention deficit. Today we know that our intelligence quotient is no accurate judge at all about who we are, what we are capable of, and where our lives are leaving and leading us. IQ or the mind are not enough to help us understand who we are and what we are doing and where we are going, and particularly why we are doing all of this growing and conscious awakening anyways. Since it ends in death the mind and its defences can tempt us to keep our eyes closed and live life with eyes wide shut.

We have many people in our Centre for healing in South Africa from all over the world with extremely high IQs. These people have often thought themselves into extreme anxious, stressed and depressive states. To get well and heal themselves from their current states of bewilderment they begin to understand that what they need to do is transcend their thinking. Thinking cannot be stoped, only transcended and included. As you think so shall you be maybe the most important seven words ever strung together in a sentence. How we think in the first half of life really creates our persona and defines our characters for a time. With divinity at our core, we are even more than persona’s or ‘masks’ as the Latin word originally suggested. 

“Faith strips the mask from the world and renders meaningless such words as anxiety, danger and fear, so the believer goes through life calmly and peacefully, with profound joy, like a child, hand and hand with his mother.”

-Charles de Foucauld.

Learning about your contemplative intelligence and capabilities will teach you how to go above your every day streams of thoughts which means we are all capable of going above your problems, situations and events that hold you captive. Although we have around 85,000 thoughts a day the problem is most of these thoughts are the same as they were yesterday and a decade ago and when we were two years old. Most of these thoughts no longer serve us and this is why we find that 98% of people are spending 98% of their time on things that don’t matter.

The sacred place where mind and spirituality meet

Once people start practising the art of contemplation they will soon find that they shall discover not only everything in the world as if it was new,  and perhaps experienced or discovered for the first time but they will also discover themselves as new, fresh and invigorated by life. It really is quite remarkable to see how much we are capable of when the shackles of the mind are stripped away. This unleashing of energy, chi or shakti is common place and comes to people who are born-again, or who have awakened consciously. Choose the words that suit your understanding best. It makes little difference to the miraculous ways in which we as human beings, so animalistic and basal in nature at first can come to know the divine within and without when consciousness allows one to do so.

The art of Contemplation

Life is so abundant broad and wide that we could never even get close to understanding our own bodies and minds, or the ocean or the cosmos for that matter. Life and our minds can be overwhelmed by the ideas of this flowing, chaotic complexity we feel subject to at times. Thankfully the law of complexity crumbles under the practice of contemplation when we align body, mind and spirit with the power of silence and surrendering which are some of the core pathways to finding your Sacred Self within. Chaos dissolves into order not when we fight life, but rather when we submit to its loving embrace. It was mother Teresa who said “Seeking the face of God in everything, everyone, all the time, and his hand in every happening; This is what it means to be contemplative in the heart of the world. Seeing and adoring the presence of Jesus, especially in the lowly appearance of bread, and in the distressing disguise of the poor.”

All are welcome to do our Course in Contemplation and learn from the dessert fathers, the sufis, sages and even the stoics who have always quietly carried the torch of our contemplative capabilities to the next generation.

The Awakening Course

Mark L Lockwood (BA)(Hons)(psy) author, teacher and owner of Center for Healing and Life Transformation is determined to share his healing secrets in The Awakening Course with the world on how we don’t have to cope with things like anxiety, depression and personality disorders or addictions. Anyone can change their lives around, all they need is a system to do it.

6 Week Course in healing your life. No matter what holds you back, you can heal your life. Recover and heal from depression, stress, burnout and life-blocks that hold you back from your true potential.

The Awakening Course
The Awakening Course – Therapy 100X


Bathe yourself in ultra-modern and powerful techniques and pathways that have helped thousands of people heal personality disorders, addictions and what Mark calls stuckness. The Awakening Course will help you find purpose and meaning and learn how to always come from a place of focused intention so that you can live a life of purpose, accomplish your dreams and stay unstuck in all situations. The worlds first therapeutic course in awakening can start today for you. Enjoy this life-changing opportunity and fasten your seatbelt!


  • Full 6 week course. 20-40 mins a day, 5 days a week for the 6 weeks.
  • Welcome pack with planners, journals, contracts and pin-ups.
  • Weekly 1 hour intensive, interactive therapeutic video sessions.
  • Start everyday with someone as support
  • Learn amazing mindfulness techniques from all over the world
  • Master your wellness one step at a time, one day at a time.
  • Change your Neurochemistry and activate different parts of your mind
  • Daily audio, videos, worksheets, planners, prompts and challenges.
  • 100X any therapeutic experience for radical grow, healing and life change.
  • Prompts 2 to 3 times a day to your mobile or inbox.
  • COST : R5250 – coupon codes DEC15 – LESS 25% – R3937.00

Answer These 10 Questions To See If This Is the Life changing Journey For You

☐ I am feeling the effects of increased stress, depression, anxiety and uncertainty

☐ I would like to relax more and work less with efficiency

☐ I find myself not moving forward as fast as I know I can

☐ I procrastinate more than I should

☐ I beat myself up for things that are outside of my control

☐ I judge myself and others harshly

☐ I continue to be frustrated by the same things that challenge me

☐ I take on the stress of others I know or I hear about on the news

☐ I have moved from overloaded to overwhelmed

☐ I am not as open-minded as I would like to be

The Awakening Course is for people who are looking for purpose and meaning in life.

The Awakening Course is for people who cope with depression, anxiety and stress.

The Awakening Course is for people who need to answer questions like Who am I, where am I going and what do I want to do with this one and only valuable life.

Sign up for the 2 hour event on Facebook on 10 December, and join the course today with a 25% early bird discount. Everyone who signs up for The Awakening Course early will also get free access to the live event on 10 December.

To sign up for the awakening course, click here, or feel free to contact us for more information.

3 Levels of Consciousness for Healing

Discover the 3 Levels of Consciousness for Healing – Contracted, Expanded and Pure Consciousness. As we grow in life we may spiral upwards and downwards through various levels of consciousness. If we feel attacked, afraid or under pressure our consciousness can become contracted. If we’re more open, hopeful and connected to God, nature and the beauty of the universe for example, we may have a more expanded consciousness that allows us to see that there are corners to tune, even when the mind can’t really be sure they are there. Pure consciousness understands the nature of reality, accepting it, exactly as it is, without false and subjective perceptions. Below we can start to look more deeply at how and why some of us can see less of reality than others.

Importantly, when you become more conscious you will have the innate ability to heal your life removing blocks caused by fear and uncertainty. All that therapy is, is the simple process of becoming more conscious of yourself, others, the world and God

The 3 Levels of Consciousness for healing, which spiral us upwards from Contracted, then Expanded to then Pure Consciousness allow us to see different perspectives of our lives. If we have a more contracted view of the world it is like thinking you have completed life’s 500 piece puzzle and you have that image in your mind. However, if life is a million piece puzzle, which it is, you probably will have the wrong image guiding you. An incomplete picture of yourself and reality is using a map to New York city, when you’re in London. This is how we can become stuck in life. Stuck or depressed or anxious and fearful of life itself. Without the right map, we will almost certainly get lost!

“Remember that your perception of the world is a reflection of your state of consciousness.”

Eckhart Tolle

Consciousness refers to your individual awareness of your unique thoughts, memories, feelings, sensations, and environments. Essentially, your consciousness is your awareness of yourself and the world around you. This awareness is subjective and unique to you. So let us say that again. Your awareness is subjective and unique to you. What this means is that we are never quite spot-on when it comes to how we see reality. There is always some space on either side of what the truth is. This is why we need to think and rethink our way through life. We need to understand that the power of contemplation and the ability to think and rethink what we understand is essential. 3 Levels of Consciousness for Healing allow us to see reality from many different angles, as many as our neurochemistry can contain. More consciousness allows more of reality to flow through our minds, unhindered by false presuppositions, judgements and cognitive distortions. All of which we are prone to have.


The first level of consciousness is contracted consciousness. Contracted consciousness can be likened to sitting in a darkened room with only a match stick as light. All you can see is what that single flame shows you exists in that room. So you may not be able to see the whole room but only parts of the room that are close to you. This is what it is like for us when we operate from a place of contracted consciousness. If we can’t see the whole picture it is unlikely we are going to get the consequences that we want to manifest every time. To be able to see the whole picture of things as they really are we need to level up to expanded consciousness.

Expanded consciousness can be likened metaphorically to sitting in that same darkened room in a house, on a chair, with the lights off. You are given a torch and you are able to shine the torch around the room and see more of what is on the walls, what books are on the shelves, what lies on the floor and the ceiling. Expanding our consciousness is something we need to continuously do and practice throughout our lifetimes. Life is all about moving forwards and not staying stuck.

We must remember that today more people than ever before in history are stuck. They are stuck in depression and are anxious and more fearful than ever before. This year in Europe we understand that over 40% of the population are on some kind of medication to manage their depression and anxiety. That is an absolutely mammoth number. It is also of concern when we see that when we treat people with depression and anxiety that they have been on these medications for decades. The medications assist but are not working well enough. They are not helping people alleviate fear and stress. They do help people cope better. But that is not what life is about. We need to thrive and not just survive. We need to re-establish who we are why we are here and what we need to do with our lives through expanding our consciousness. We need to better understand ourselves and reality at the same time to get out and through this health crisis. Expanded consciousness moves you from the intellect to your emotions and creates a deeper understanding of your Sacred Self. Our intellect is not enough to get us to where we need to be to make this life worth while and more liveable. To live higher quality lives we certainly need expanded consciousness more today than ever before.

“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin

The last of the 3 Levels of consciousness is pure consciousness. From this level we are able to see reality exactly as it is. It is my experience that pure consciousness can be achieved through practising things like contemplation, mindfulness, yoga and other intuitive practices that help us access body, mind and soul together. Universally. Pure consciousness moves us from dichotomous thinking to unspoiled and unbiased clarity. We don’t see the world as it is, we tend to rather see it as we are. If we are negative and void of hope we can see the entire world in this way. Even if it is not the case that the world is dark and malevolent, we can still see and experience every day of our lives in this way. This is how we treat clients who see a bad world that surrounds them. We simply show them where this badness is in their core. I put it to you like this. Fear – It is not out there, but inside our minds. It is a sleeping dragon, an enemy within, that feeds in the shadows and recesses of our subconscious minds. When you shine your light on the darkness in the mind the bad stuff melts into nothingness.

Finally, a course in miracles teaches us that pain is a wrong perspective and nothing aside from our minds, really do us harm. Let us look at what this teaches us about consciousness. 

“Pain is a wrong perspective. When it is experienced in any form, it is proof of self deception. It is not a fact at all. There is no form of tax that will not disappear if seen a right… pain is a sign illusions rain in place of truth. It demonstrates God is denied, confused with fear, perceived as mad, and seen as a traitor to himself. It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or NG you in anyway. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affect. There is nothing in the world that has the power to make you ill or sad or week or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognising what you are”. 

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