HOW YOU CLOSE-OFF
Understand why we become stuck, stressed, bitter, angry, depressed or addicted. Learn why it is that you perform and achieve way less than you’re capable of and start to heal your life with this new awareness. Know the minds enemies.
Your 10X ego-insurgents
Your ego-insurgents were so important that they kept you alive all this time. They are hard wired into our brains to ensure we survive the perceived chaos of life, growing up and finding our way in life. The ego-insurgents are the container for our early emotions, thoughts and behaviours.
When we are older and more capable we no longer need them to protect us. They can easily become just like the over-protective parent – smothering all uncertainty as it appears, driving fear into our hearts, minds and souls for anything that appears remotely unsafe.
The Lies of the Insurgents leave us in Survive Mind
THE VICTIM INSURGENT
The Victim Insurgent is your minds martyr. It exhausts you with a woe is me mentality. When the victim takes the lead, it makes everyone else the persecutor enemy, as it quickly seeks to blame what doesn’t work on any person, place or thing external from you. Your victim insurgent keeps telling you life has given you a bad deal. It over-defends us, hardening our edges if we are not careful. Victims always feel under attack and are stuck in perpetual survival mode that eventually can cause major stress physically, psychologically and emotionally until we switch this insurgent off with our Sacred Selves.
THE JUDGE INSURGENT
The judge reminds you how you’re never doing it right. Through negative reinforcement Judge will tell you that it is not good enough and that you are not good enough. It pushed you to always do better, using the art form of finger pointing, ridicule and blame to get you what it thinks you want. Your judge always has something to say about others too. It is impulsively quick to judge good or bad for us, but is oftentimes wrong. Being judgmental is a consequence of allowing our Judge insurgent to run riot in our heads. It costs us relationships, career opportunities and love. Judging to see whats safe, brings terrible results over time that must be corrected.
THE CONTROLLER INSURGENT
The controlling insurgent compels, requires and expects others to fulfill their needs in an unhealthy way. Our controlling insurgents always keep the score and are extremely critical. They create drama, intimidate and gaslight us with their moody mannerisms. Our controller thinks it has dominion over external things, which it does not. It is busy trying to control external things so that you don’t have to control the things inside that feel out of control. This complex little drama is easily solved with Mind Yoga in CQ. Once you get your controller insurgent back in control, your life will change.
THE ECCENTRIC INSURGENT
This insurgent keeps us cold, distant, and unable to form the close, interpersonal relationships that we desire and deserve. It makes us distrusting of ourselves and thus we cant trust others easily either. It is at odds with what is. Leaving us lost in the periphery of life. Remember what relationships are built on? Yes, trust of course. So this affects our careers and performance, as well as relationships. It is even enmeshed in the way we communicate with others. We can cover up feelings of low self esteem with grandiosity, and superficiality to hide the truth. Like most insurgents it sends us seeking attention in negative ways that don’t help us in life.
THE ANXIOUS INSURGENT
Your anxious insurgent uses hyper vigilance to make sure you are kept safe from lions and tigers waiting to pounce on you from the bushes. It operates from your million year old, lizard brain and thinks everything is a real and imminent threat to you. Feelings of nervousness and fear are commonplace, and so is poor self-esteem and an intense fear of rejection. The shadow character of an anxious insurgent on the surface, can make you appear to be successful, together, and calm but its true nature can run riot within. They make us overthink everything, and fear future calamities invade our thoughts while we subtly let the present moments of life roll by.
THE PERFECTIONIST INSURGENT
Your perfectionist insurgent will seldom finish anything. Ironically it drops out at the last minute, piles things up and even under performs, because it cannot tolerate any of its own imperfections. It must be prefect or nothing at all, but this is not how life works. Your own personal performance is mega-updated quickly when you bring this insurgent out of the minds darkness and into the light. Although they can help us get going in childhood, procrastination, avoidance and rarely ever being satisfied are what perfectionist insurgents end up producing in adulthood for us.
THE CODEPENDENT INSURGENT
Codependent Insurgents are avoidant. They try and redirect the rivers of life, that are flowing by themselves. These insurgents long for the need for other peoples approval, as they don’t recognize themselves as being worthy. They create difficulty in making everyday decisions and eventually become a neurological trap for us. Still lost in childhood memories, these insurgents have given up on the idea that you can do it on your own. They don’t even trust themselves, nor you, or others. This excessive reliance on other-ness and not yourself can manifest into some unwelcome immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement – without you even knowing that you’ve been duped.
THE NEUROTIC INSURGENT
Our Neurotic Insurgent is comfortable with any negative feelings it can cling to. It makes us bear guilt, shame, anger, worry, fear, jealousy and resentments all at once. The emotional volatility often leaves us feeling and oscillating between low, and then angry. Neurotics bear their own anxiety and anger, that when turned inward leads to depression, more anxiety and even health and relationship issues. No insurgent is all bad, they simply need to be reprogrammed to a more mature and authentic mindset. Learning to turn the neurotic insurgents emotional depth around pays massive dividends in life.
THE PLEASER INSURGENT
The Pleaser is always people-pleasing to get its self worth from other people. Pleaser insurgents engage in self-destructive behavior if they think it will help others feel more comfortable in social situations. Its lack of boundaries can make us a doormat. The need for outside validation always increases and keeping on the mask eventually exhausts our energy supply, and for this we pay the ultimate Price of Nice.
THE ACTOR INSURGENT
The Drama King or Queen. The Actor insurgent is always wearing a mask. It is also called a performing insurgent, as it seeks significance from playing the many roles that keep it entertained with as much external drama as possible. The Oscar winning Actor is there to distract you and keep you away from your real feelings and problems. Keeping you sick, or stuck playing roles, so you can never ever fix, or see the real problems. “To thine own self be true” is the Actors kryptonite – which CQ will teach you.
All of your Ego-insurgents think they are doing a sterling job for you. They cling to a self concept from early childhood that no longer works. We are more capable than they imagine us to be. These over protective ‘parents’ are taught through Contemplative Intelligence © that we are ready to fly the nest and soar like and eagle. In fact, with enough of the work, we align and realize how long overdue some of their walls have been in coming down.
We don’t perform, we don’t achieve and cannot be fully creative in our decision making and navigation of life if we allow our ego-insurgents to carry the reigns any further. Of course, we become sick and tired, or depressed and low when they allow our imaginations to run wild with their shadow and fear-minded fervours and flavours of yesteryear. Their days of pushing us to succeed through negative emotions that we needed as children. The fear, anxiety, blame, shame, guilt no longer serve us and somethings really got to give. This is what Carl Jung’s quote about the morning and afternoon of life explains so beautifully.
“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.”“Contemplative Intelligence© gives us the Paradigm Shift to change our lives, and thus the opportunity to change everything”, Mark L Lockwood.
Ego-insurgents are often disruptive to our personal, professional, and social lives. Insurgents are enmeshed in our personality traits and patterns of thinking, reacting, and behaving that become relatively consistent and stable over time. Without contemplative intelligence at work, ego-insurgents make us prone to more rigid thinking and reacting behaviors that make it hard for us to adapt to a situation, an opportunity or life itself.