21 Ways to Transform your life

21 Ways to Transform your life

Here are 21 Ways to Transform your life that you won’t come back from. In other words, they are changes that will stick in the long term. We all have anchors, some good and some bad, that we build upon our foundations of truth, of who we really are. 

People have spoken about transformation for centuries, but in practice it is no easy task. We have all tried to better ourselves and have failed. In fact we have done so many trial and error projects on ourselves that by the time we are adults, we subconsciously stop setting goals. We are tired of never reaching the finish line, so we simply stop running the longer races. The ones with bigger pay-off’s. Soon mediocrity sets in with the accompanying desperation and feelings of emptiness that come with settling for less in life. But there is another way. Every now and again we rise up like a phoenix from the ashes and make big changes. 

That is what we are talking about when it comes to transformation. The really big changes that define you come from a soul on fire. Nothing less. Mark is talking about change that go above and beyond your normal, your personality and daily character traits. With the right intrinsic motivation, and the right maps and goals we can do almost anything we set our minds to. These 21 Ways to Transform your life are a road map to these big changes. Transformation describes the process of change and going beyond your form and norm, and this process can help you really, really, really heal, change and then transform your life for good. Although transformation is, and should be, a never ending process much like the cosmos itself, it is great to start the process. A start with a big-bang so to speak. So, ignite your full potential. It is a journey that starts here. 

21 Ways to Transform your life

1. RE-APPRECIATE LIFE. Shift from Judgement to Gratitude. Appreciate the things you may normally overlook. It is very easy for us to slip into a judgemental attitude that ends up with us feeling that what we have and do is never enough. Make a list of things you are grateful for. The more you appreciate the blessings in your life, the more blessings there will be to appreciate. Start the day with 5 things you are grateful for. Try not to judge them, try not to judge yourself and even God because it is not God who is judgemental but our ego’s, which have a tendency to judge others as wrong, or different or distrustful and malicious. Rather, judgement comes from our ego, which edges God out (e.g.o)

2. PUT ON PRESENCE. Be the presence of love, compassion, peace, forgiveness and possibility. Become a witness and don’t get lost in a train of thoughts. Eckhardt Tolle says that “Presence is what happens when we are no longer waiting for the next moment, believing that the next moment will be more fulfilling than this one. If people talk about a strong police presence they are referring to the way that their presence is really felt at the time and place where they are situated. When we develop a strong sense of presence fo ourselves we start to show up for ourselves and cultivate our throat chakra, which is where we find our voice and are really heard when we need to be heard. A tall oak tree has incredible presence in a forest and everything about it stands out in a forest full of trees.

Presence is not something that we can force. It mostly come from an authentic place of knowing who you truly are, and then presenting that real, raw and naked persona to the world. Who you are is divine by nature and being truly yourself will start to attract others to what you have to say, even if it takes a little more time to be heard than louder people, when you are heard and seen your presence will be felt and then remembered. Shakespeare taught us to thine on self be true. When you are fully emerged in presence there is nothing to hide, or make or keep hidden in the shadows. Being yourself like that oak trees, who is 100 percent being that oak tree, will start to set you free from anything that hinders you allowing yourself to be who you really are. 

3. NOURISH YOUR SOUL. – Before you do anything significant ever again, ask yourself this question. Does this Nourish my Soul.The acronym of which is D.T.N.M.S. so it can be remembered easily as another simple road map to better consequences and happiness in life. If it doesn’t nourish your soul, consider not doing it. There would be little point in doing anything that won’t help you develop and grow as a person who is in the world to contribute significantly to it. 

4. BECOME CERTAIN OF WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. – Know what you really, really, really want and pursue that daily. If someone gave you three wishes you may squander them on material things, cars, vacations or money. You may really believe that those things will bring you happiness and a sense of peace and calm, finally being able to have what you want. As we know from Hollywood, having what you think you want doesn’t always work out too well. Chase the wrong things and the wrong things will chase you back. So, become very certain of what you really want. You may just find that it is peace, bliss, self-love and balance that you want more than things like a busy career and a fast lifestyle. 

5. LOOK WITHIN. Look inward as opposed to outwards. This is a habit and a mind-hack. We automatically blame, and have a dichotomous mind. It came from our need to judge things so harshly for survival as a child. Focus on yourself first. If you want to change the world, you must begin with yourself. Use I statements when you catch yourself controlling, judging or playing the victim card, a card we all pull from time to time. Tolerance, love. Let go of the desire to win. 

6. PRACTICE CONTEMPLATION Practice contemplation everyday. Develop daily awareness by becoming truly aware of everything around you. Contemplation is simply the art of thinking properly and without distortions. As adults we may find that we don’t even really notice the cloud, animals and the wonder of people anymore. Noticing is a gift. We get used to the wonder of food and water, rainbows, the seasons and even the kind things people do for us. Without contemplation we become complacent. 

7. MORNING PAGES. I was taught long ago that reading and writing are essential to any life transformation process and have found that to be true after doing over 20 000 hours of therapy over the years. All you need to do is wake up and write 3 pages without trying to even think about what you’re putting on paper. Morning pages can be done as you wake up. Grab a coffee, then simply write 3 pages every day for a few weeks at a time. No one should ever see these pages except you. The bedrock tool of a creative self transformation project is a daily practice of creating these Morning Pages which are written longhand as a stream of consciousness. They are what Freud liked to call an exercise in free association. You write without thinking and see what flows from the writing. There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages and seldom have I ever heard of anyone who did not have a profound personal break through after a few days of writing.

8. CULTIVATE PURPOSE. Find meaning and purpose. We will show you how to do that right now. The world is misinformed that we must seek out a purpose. No. Our purpose is all the same. Our purpose, your purpose is to be a central part of everything else. We are all here to contribute and make the world a better place. Your job on this earth is no less important than a queens, a priest, teacher or astronaut’s role in life. This is not a human centric universe. We are a small part of a much larger, possibly infinite whole. Don’t get lost trying to find your purpose and meaning in life. Recognize that we are all the same and our purpose is all the same. We are meant to be light in a dark world, hopeful in hopeless times, wise when answers are needed and loving when hate manifests itself. You need never be lost again. Love is the meaning of life. Your purpose is the very same as ever Muslim, Christian, Jew and believer to become more conscious and awaken yourself, so in turn you can awaken others who may be sleeping. Never doubt the importance of your life purpose as it is a divine mandate from a loving and all inclusive universe that has chosen you to be the light that darkness has not yet understood.

9. FACE THE FEAR. Do something that scares you. F.E.A.R. avoidance brings 10 000 times more suffering. Face your fears what are only presented as imagery in your mind, knowing that you are always okay. Maybe not ecstatic but at the very least okay. We are always suffering our thoughts of the future and creating states of mind that do not actually exist, even though they may, they do not. so we are suffering imaginary ghosts in our imaginations that will almost always never come into existence. A course in miracles states that fear creates a state that does not exist, and that it is perfect love that casts out that fear. It is for this reason that the acronym for fear I like most for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Remember that you are here to experience life and not avoid it. People who tend to want to experience life rather than avoid it have far, far greater rewards than those who are fearful in their minds. So remember that Fear is a product of a hallucinatory mind. When you root yourself in reality you will be able to sense the love that A Course in Miracles talks about. So next time you are afraid affirm to yourself that perfect love casts out all fear….but only every time.

10. DROP RESENTMENT. Let go of resentments.  Number 1 offender. Let go of regret. Learn to Forgive. 

11. FOLLOW THE GREAT CHAIN OF BEING. Develop your behaviour chain. Trigger, thought, feeling, your behaviour or what you do and then the consequences of that behaviour. As humans we have a behaviour chain that starts simply with experiences from our 5 senses. You don’t experience anything more that. Add a second thought after every encounter with people, places, things, conversations and situations. That second thought can change your consequences for the better in a very short space of time. Pause for five seconds before you react to any person or situation. Pausing will give you an opportunity to choose a loving and empowering response instead of reacting on autopilot. Feel your feelings. They alert you to what is going on in your mind; and they can guide you towards your purpose and passions in life. People often start the chain with God. Start with a stone. Then a flower. Then an animal. Then a child…. And so on. 

12. CONNECTION Connect with Source, Self and Others. Spend time in nature. Stop to contemplate the birds flying by or the people playing with their dogs in the park. Sharing is connection. Leave a kind note or a dollar. Love and be loved. Practice listening and connecting. Practice You are Just like that. When others irritate you with their remarks, even their erratic driving or insensitivity at times. Remember how you are just like that sometimes. We are highly emotional beings and everyone is on a unique level of transformation so always do what you do to be transformation itself. Go above the form or the situation. 

13. THE THREE A’S. Practice the 3 A’s Awareness, Acceptance, and new-Action. Accept things that fall outside your circle of control — like the weather, long line at the grocery store or opinion of others. Save your energy for more important things.Acceptance is the answer. Don’t get too easily frustrated that things have not changed yet. Taking action comes after awareness of what is happening for you and then acceptance of what is happening, no matter what happens you will always be okay. The proof of this is you, right here today, right now. Life surely has not been perfect for anyone and it is oftentimes laced in traumas, pains and hurts that we actually survived. Most of us have imagined far more pain than we have experienced, and a wild imagination brings paralyzing fear with it. Become aware of your problems, learn to accept them and form that space you can take positive action to heal, grow and renew what you need to. 

14. MINIMALISM. Practice minimalism as a form of balance in your life. Empty your plate if your life is unmanageable, chaotic and busy. Learn to let go of your need to control outcomes and amass things. Be a river. Minimalism – lighten your load. I turn this over to God, help me with a decision. Knock, ask and then receive. This is the natural way of things. We need to learn to not glorify busyness, stress, full calendars and endless hours at a desk. No. You are more likely to end up miserable than happy when you indulge in the excess of work. Work is a 24 hour a day job that needs minimising where minimising is necessary. Sleep, play, connection, relationships, reading and appreciating sunsets with an open, calm and contemplative mind is also work. More important work than most other work. If you cannot and do not do these things, you may be lost in the easier part of life. Yes, being a bank manager, entrepreneur or hotel owner or accountant for that matter is far easier than the other work you need to do of calming your mind and regulating your emotions.

15. INTENTION. Set a daily Intention. Stay focused on your intentions each and every day. Who AM I? Where have I been? Where am I going?

16. SILENCE. Experience Silence. Listen to source. It is all happening within you. Peace, quiet and  solitude rather than obsessive thinking, compulsions…Just go within. Spend 20 minutes a day in contemplation and silence. We can become addicted to external validation, rather than internal validation.

17. ALWAYS ON. Stay switched on. Don’t ever allow other people, places or things to shut you off. If people gossip or are unkind about you, or if you feel that people are judging you; don’t allow it to let you close yourself off. If you close off every time someone offends you, you will be on and off like a light switch. Rather than being sometimes closed off and then struggle trying to get into an open and connected space again can be a permanent struggle we have with life. Instead, if things don’t seem to be going your way, know that there are no accidents in Gods world. Stay open to the possibility that things are happening for you and not to you.

Realize that big and small things alike tend to work themselves out for your good in the end. The universe is a gentle, loving and kind place that never misses a beat. If it did, and the moon, sun or earth moved just one degree or two, or sped up or slowed down even just a little, that it would all spin wildly out of control in seconds. Everything including you is being taken care of, or being done. Your heart beats while you sleep and food turns into energy and proteins without your help. Stay switched on and see how deeply your life will begin to transform. 

18. I AM VS AM I. Go from Am I to I Am. At first, There is doubt and confusion and uncertainty there which can bread fear. You are not your name or even your personality, mask. The question fo Am I this, or that….am I going to go there, am I doing this correctly are all filled with doubt and uncertainty. Go beyond this limited thinking and transcend the doubt by witching things around. Change Am I statements to I Am statements that you can practise everyday. I am loved, I am on purpose. I am okay, and connected and growing rather than wondering if you are, make the statement to that effect. When God was asked what his name was He replied I am with a profound sense of omnipotent certainty without the doubt of what that included. Be mindful of what words you put after the small but powerful two little words I am, because they will become your reality. 

19. BECOME A MYSTIC. Embrace the unknown. Become a mystic. Needing to know is dis-ease. We might as well face the inevitable truth that as humans we know almost nothing about the Universe, the ocean or even our won bodies for that matter. No one still knows or agrees what is inside even one of the trillion cells in our bodies. Get comfortable with the idea that we will always have far more questions ahead of us than answers. The mind loves answers and despises it when it can’t find one, to the point where the mind can create a state of fight, flight and freeze it it feels threatened by what can or could happen at any given moment. Rather embrace the mystery of life by choice. Become comfortable with not knowing and let go of your minds attachment to the need to know. By accepting what comes to us as if we chose it, as if we know it is on purpose will change the very way we live and love in our lives. The real mystery of life is that we are divine beings, infinitely loved and that love is our true nature, just like the nature of Good and everything else that is connected through a great mystery. 

21 Ways to Transform your life
21 Ways to Transform your life include being you regardless of who is around

Rather embrace the mystery if life by choice. Become comfortable with not knowing and let go of your minds attachment to the need to know. By accepting what comes to us as if we chose it, as if we know it is on purpose will change the very way we live and love in our lives. The real mystery of life is that we are divine beings, infinitely loved and that love is our true nature, just like the nature of Good and everything else that is connected through a great mystery. 

20. BE YOU. Thinking is not living. Our thinking is oftentimes so distorted our very own thinking can become the enemy within. Love you. Forgive you. We were created from a spirit of pure love and that is how we can operate on a daily basis. Make your own authentic nature a non-compromising part of yourself. Let go of the masks and the personality traits that no longer serve you. Notice your tendencies to people please, or blame, judge, control or to be codependent and start to let those things go. We will always be in pain when we avoid or mask who we truly are and how we truly feel. Dont die with your music still in you. Dont allow others, or their expectations of you to change who you really are. 


Everything in life is in a process. There is a time and a season for everything. When difficult times come it can be hard to remember the This To Shall Pass philosophy and we can get lost in problems that we think are permanent. Everything is changing and is subject to impermanence. Nothing stays the same and everything is miraculously evolving into something better and something more. This transitional time and space we can refer to as Liminal Space and it is kind, just like reality is always kind. This liminal space is the time you spend in a transition as you head towards your next destination and level of understanding. So don’t be afraid of the many transitions we will go through in our lives. Impermanence means that we are always guaranteed of new adventures, understanding and developments as life lovingly unfolds into more and more conscious states for each of us. Learn to make a habit of embracing Impermanence and Liminal Spaces with love rather than fear. 

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” 

– Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Each of these 21 Ways to Transform your life cost us nothing and bring us closer, each and every day they are practiced, to becoming a more authentic, capable, response-able human being who is having a spiritual experience in this life, more so than a human one. Learning to trust the process of life is something we will have to open up to as adults.

We all suffer through dark nights of the soul, which can leave us disillusioned to the point where our lives become and illusion themselves. Authenticity is much like reality. Both are light and kind and show us the way to experiencing heaven in earth. Choosing our attitude is the only way that humans are different from all other creatures on earth. So as you learn to live a life that is grounded on a journey of upward spiralling transformation, or of you going above your form and becoming more and more spiritual in consciousness remember the words of Victor Frankl. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”. Be the change and be you as you transform your life a little more everyday.Namaste and may God Bless you. 

Namaste and may God Bless you. 

For more information about 21 Ways to Transform your life, online courses or stays at our healing and life transformation center, visit centerforhealingandlife@gmail.com

21 Ways to Transform your life
Subscribe to our channel on YouTube and never miss a new series

Published by Mark L Lockwood

Mark L Lockwood (BA)(Hons)(psy) teaches spiritual transformation and is the founder of Contemplative Intelligence. Author of The Power of Contemplative Intelligence, Autotherapy and Recovery Magic. Our work is about the science of finding your spiritual self.

2 thoughts on “21 Ways to Transform your life

Leave a Reply