The practice of Loving Inquiry teaches us that fear can only be surrendered to. We find the courage (heart) to surrender and accept when we stay emotionally open and heart-brain coherent. We literally slay the dragon with the emotion of love by asking ourselves what we are thinking we believe and then we do the contemplative questioning work of examining our belief systems to look for thinking-errors. Examples of these can be he is a bad father, I dislike all immigrants, woman are bad drivers, she died way too young, he will never amount to anything and she never let’s me get a word in. Only when we examine these beliefs will we be sure that we are not falling prey to false beliefs that create our pain and suffering in the world. 

Suffering is rooted in separation and fear

In order to heal we need to move from separation to integration. In this way we no longer fragment and project but rather face our fears and in doing so dissolve them. Fear is by nature false evidence appearing real. Fear can appear real and it can feel, look and taste real but it is not necessarily true. This is where the process of Loving Inquiry becomes useful. We need to question what we think, feel and believe. This is how we heal. We heal by allowing the truth to set us free. 

The world wars were Cain and Able all over again. Brother killing brother and we are still doing it today because of the lies of separation we believe. When we stop the separation fear of the other disintegrates. That is how you win world wars and end racism and that is how you cure anxiety. It is all the same. It is always a return to authenticity, connection and love. This is the work of Loving Inquiry. 

The emotions of separation leading to fear:

• anger
• jealousy
• loneliness confusion
• superiority inferiority
• obsession with money, fame,
  etc.
• addiction to food, sex,
  shopping etc.
• blaming
• criticism
• resentment
• competitiveness
• depression
• righteousness

A return to Love

When we return to love we find inner peace. Healing begins in the body-heart-mind. The peace we experience on the inside becomes how we see the world on the outside and our harsh judgments of the other begin to melt away. Remembering who I am requires me to ask who I am without the stories in mind that I am believing. 

The emotions of healing leading to Love:

• gratitude
• caring
• reverence
• trust
• appreciation
• patience
• contentment
• awe of the God and His Universe
• generosity
• integrity
• vulnerability
• courage
• openness
• kindness

Practicing Loving Inquiry 

One of the ways we practice loving inquiry is through writing it down. Opening a Loving Inquiry and getting your true, sacred self, unhindered by the personality to respond to the inquiry you are compassionately making will set you free. When I am not running a life that is dictated to me by the environment (people, places, things, conversation, situations and events) I am truly free! 

1. Self-Awareness. When you become mindful that you are stressed, anxious, fearful or in pain. When you sense something you become self-aware and know that there is work to do. 
2. Self-Discipline. The Contemplative Pause. Is what I am believing true? The one is mightier than the sword. Write it down in real-time (real-ity). My thought is…….it makes me feel…..I want to do…….I am convinced I believe that……
3. Self-Inquiry. What will happen if I start to think that……if I start to feel that…….I will do this……the real consequence for me will be………
4. Self-Connection. Remember who you are. List 5 values and 5 deeper emotions (dig if you have to, use our emotions wheel). 
5. Self-Reflection. He/She/They are doing/have done/will do………because I judge them harshly.
6. Self-Love. I am a (your best values)………..person who can choose compassion for………..because they have done their best even though I don’t like it. I don’t want to feel the way this makes me feel which is…………so I choose to feel…………because without this story in my body-heart-mind I am………….. and free! What other people do no longer imprisons me. 

Start the practice of Loving Inquiry

You can start your own practice of Loving in Inquiry by yourself through using the worksheet. You can also Start the 42 session Paradigm Process self-paced online course where you will learn the art of Loving Inquiry and many other amazing tools, meditations and so on. If you are suffering from depression, personality, pain or mood issues you should consider coming to the Center for Healing and Life Transformation in South Africa. See what we treat here and make a plan to transform your life.

The practice of Loving Inquiry encourages emotional openness and the examination of personal belief systems to overcome fear and suffering. By questioning our thoughts and beliefs, we can dissolve false fears and promote healing. This approach fosters a return to love, inner peace, and self-awareness, ultimately leading to authentic connections and personal freedom.