A client recently remarked in their first group session “Please don’t talk about shame or guilt”. If no one mentions these things, I will be just fine…. I like to focus only on the positive, I believe in the law of attraction!”
The truth is you cannot selectively numb your feelings!! This person suffered depression for two decades. Most people try every remedy under the sun before they arrive at our Center for Healing and life transformation to embark on a healing journey. They were taught by their parents to always say “I am fine” when people asked. They learned early on to lie to others and of course themselves. Numb out the bad feelings and push forward we are taught. Suck it up, buttercup, our fathers say to us. So we learn how to suppress our feelings, especially the bad ones. The insecurities, the shame, our fears…we bury them all deeply. Unbenownst to us though, when we bury the bad, we bury the good too. The happiness gets buried along with the pain and shameful feelings. When you numb one, you numb the other. That is how it works. You mind and heart don’t know which feelings are which. They bury them all. The truth is you cannot selectively numb your feelings.
So when you want to start to heal from things like depression and anxiety, you will need to explore all your feelings. The good and the bad ones. You will have to reconnect heat and mind. You will be required by the very laws of nature to look deeply into how you really, really feel about things. This is how deep and sustainable healing is done.
There is an old saying which states that the truth shall set you free. Without the truth, you can’t live life in reality, in a manner that will bring you peace, happiness, hope and joy. But most of us naturally try and shy away from what we call our negative feelings like shame, low self esteem. In fact we numb them as best as we can. “When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun, and fear is that annoying backseat driver”. Understanding our feelings is no easy task. Most of us have felt the burden of shame at one time or another. Some of us may have been dishonest about our feelings – to ourselves and others – for fear we would be found out or others would know too much.
Hurtful feelings frequently surface in healing therapy, and when we hurt, we feel bad. Words like miserable or sad can describe these hurtful feelings. Sometimes we not only feel bad, we believe we; We not only hurt, we also believe something is wrong not only with our use of emotional escapes, but with the core of who we are. We feel something is lacking – we feel inadequate and empty. That pervasive feeling of chronic emptiness is often shame.
The void is deepened by self-reproach and a constant longing to be filled. In the end we have to work through all of these feelings. even if we don’t want too. Life gives exams and seems to insist that we grow through our pain in our pursuit of happiness. To really be peaceful, joyful and ecstatic even, know that shame is on of those backseat drivers that is getting you there. top numbing your feelings and it will push you to grow. And when you grow, you can transform your life, the lives of others and then the world itself. Don’t Stay Stuck ! You CAN heal your life.
For more information on how to Stop numbing your feelings call 0824424779 0r email firstname.lastname@example.org Do an online course, or become a life coach. Stay at our center. Either way, you CAN heal your life.
Gassho and Blessings to you all.