Letting Go of your inner Saboteur


Letting Go of your inner Saboteur is important work for us all to do. Our saboteurs are inner agents specializing in self sabotage. 

An unsettling classroom experience near the start of his second year in his Stanford MBA Program caused a personal crisis for Shirzad Chamine and led him to the work he’s doing more than a quarter century later. It was about to teach him a life lesson about Letting Go of your inner SaboteurThe 1987 class was Interpersonal Dynamics, nicknamed “Touchy-Feely” for the way it has highly analytical students explore the softer side of business. One day, students took turns telling their classmates how each was coming across, and one after another, they told Chamine that he gave the impression of constantly and secretly judging them — even a classmate whom Chamine greatly admired. It became clear, his genial façade wasn’t fooling anyone.

Letting Go of your inner Saboteur

Devastated by this feedback, he panicked that he had no clue how to change. Within two weeks, though, Chamine, who had grown up in a turbulent, emotionally abusive home, had a helpful insight. Noticing judgmental behaviors that he thought others might be using as well in an effort to disguise insecurities, he poured out his thoughts into a five-page typed letter to first-year students. The letter touched its audience, especially the many students stressed or saddened by academic and social pressure — so much so that 26 years later, it is still in circulation among students. After receiving “tons of thank-you letters,” the 1988 graduate knew he was on to something. “That’s when I felt reassured that ‘the judge’ tends to be universal,” even if not in the extreme form he saw in himself. After more reading and soul-searching, he came to think of this judge as what he calls a Saboteur, one of several figurative villains that he says in his work Letting Go of your inner Saboteur, that can reside in normal human minds.

Your mind is your best friend, but it is also your very worst enemy, calling the best-friend part your Sage or Higher Self, the voice of authenticity, calm, and positive emotion. The Saboteurs — which, besides the Judge, include such instantly recognizable types as the Victim, the Avoider, the Hyper-Achiever, and six others — undermine you by triggering anger, anxiety, shame, regret, and other negative emotions. Pretty much all your suffering in life may eventually be self-generated by your Saboteurs.

In this course at Pathways we will learn how to recognize these saboteurs, which ones apply to us specifically, and then how to change the patterns that have become so deeply engraved on our subconscious thinking, feeling and behaviour. Once we admit we are powerless over how we do life in reality and truth, we can start to let go. Then it is time for change.

Consciously Letting Go of your inner Saboteur

Our Saboteurs originate in our youth as part of our protective mechanisms. Saboteurs start off as our guardians to help us survive the real and imagined threats to our physical and emotional survival as children. By the time we are adults, we no longer need them, but they have become invisible inhabitants of our mind. Our Saboteurs’ patterns of thinking, feeling, and reacting become soft-coded in our brain through neural pathways. When these neural pathways are triggered, we are “hijacked” by our Saboteurs and feel, think, and act using their patterns. Saboteurs are your invisible agents of self-sabotage. They represent your brain’s automatic mental habits with limiting beliefs and assumptions about how to handle life’s challenges. They include the Judge, Controller, Avoider, Victim, Stickler and 5 others.

Your Saboteurs cause much of your stress, unhappiness and negative feelings. But the good news is that you can learn to meet your challenges by activating a different voice and region of your brain that performs far better while producing positive feelings like curiosity, empathy, creativity, and peace, with a laser focus on action.

According to the Greek myth, Sisyphus is condemned to roll a rock up to the top of a mountain, only to have the rock roll back down to the bottom every time he reaches the top. The gods were wise, Camus suggests, in perceiving that an eternity of futile labor is a hideous punishment. There is much in the persona of Sisyphus that reflects depression-related transformations of personal character defects – his dishonesty, manipulation, disregard and injury of others, and who could not recognize in Sisyphus’ repetitive attempt to get the stone to the top of the mountain the emotional sufferers compulsive attempt to gain mastery over his or her drug consumption. One can actually imagine Sisyphus’ thoughts and promises as he re-enacts each climb: This time will be different. I just need one more chance. I will stop after this one last effort. Sound familiar? This surely is a type of hell on earth. So why do we keep repeating the cycle until it becomes addictively repetitive?

Find out more about Letting Go of your inner Saboteurs and send us an email for a free mini assignment you can do, or use at home. It includes online links and profiles of each saboteur. Letting Go of your inner Saboteur’s is great personal work for anyone to do. Sign up for our courses, get your membership and connect with www.markllockwood.com more deeply. 

A Course In Recovery

Mindfulness and Truth that sets you free


Learn the importance and power of truth(reality) in your daily life. The brain, which functions on learning and memory to a large degree, stays well away from truth if it decides their is any kind of pain or suffering involved. Denial, deception, lack or awareness and distraction are pitfalls to watch out for. 

Mindful Sensing


Mindful Sensing is something anyone can do. Use your 5 senses to connect and become fully present and aware of yourself. When you start to show up in your entirety, with more trained-brain, emotions, body and soul, using all your faculties together miracles can happen. Love your transformation. 


Our million year old brains are failing us.

Our brains cannot and are not operating successful without the back-up of our other faculties. As we become more intellectually driven and inclined, we also become more personally destructive in the longer term. Our brains are diseased, in other words, they have become addicted to memory and what it has learned. The disease means it is doomed to repeat it. Success as we see in the modern world, seems to be plagued with failure. Sport, television stars and business persons alike have little problem with creating success – but they maintain it as poorly as they do themselves! Emotions, spirit, soul and whatever else we’re collectively made up of. The brain is addicted to memory, It has us addicted to days of old!

As the saying goes, we are addicted to our thinking and not just our drinking. This is the learning disorder that all us us fall victim to. Doing the same things we’ve learned that don’t work, over and over again, has left our new generation more desperate than ever for clues as to how to experience a sense of peace. People have tried to find this peace through using hard drugs and all kinds of medications.

At its core, drug addiction involves a biological process: the ability of repeated exposure to a drug of abuse to induce changes in a vulnerable brain that drive the compulsive seeking and taking of drugs, and loss of control over drug use, that define a state of addiction.

Addiction occurs when the brain relies on an external solution to an internal problem. It then becomes just like the addict, wanting more of what doesn’t work. Instead of peace and less stress from abusing the growing need we develop for these drugs and medications, we end up with progressively increasing levels of anxiety and depression. The very thing we were trying to avoid in the first place. But the brains memory function only remembers the pause of pleasure it received the first time it used the drug. That pleasure can never be repeated, much like a heroin addict always chases the feeling of their first high, that never ever comes. Memory in the brain tries over and over to have the same experience’s that it believes worked. But emotional pleasure and relief from drugs cannot be repeated twice. Addictions may be nothing more than a go to that we resort to when we can’t deal with our thoughts and thinking. Addictions are a bad reaction to a once off solution.

addicted to memory

The good news regarding the issue of being addicted to memory,  is that our feelings, emotions and even visual thoughts can be put together to change these custodial memory patterns to find new and real solutions. So in a sense our work in healing addictions is to be able to go beyond memory and transcend it. In fact the word transcendence means to push beyond normal or physical limitations and implies a spiritual experience of some kind. It has been agreed worldwide by millions that the way to heal, arrest and treat addiction lies in such a spiritual solution. Should we not look at healing our own brains neurology in the same way?

So, we have discovered that addictions for the most part are reactions to our thinking. Our thoughts get into what we see and expect. They leak into our bodies and make us tense and anxious, even when our present outside world experiences are not happening in that way at all. And so, a non-reality or fantasy world, or hell, is created where we become stuck in a prison of mind looking for any kind of pleasurable experience it can get from excessive eating, alcohol, drugs or even doing things compulsively and repeatedly.

Change from being addicted to memory, only comes when we have a secure platform of foundation upon which to build something new. As mortal beings, blasted by uncertainty and a lack of control, this is difficult. Maslow’s famous Hierarchy of needs clearly shows the link between being addicted to memory and how we evolve from it. It shows us that in order to grow, we need safety and security first. We first need all things physical taken care of before the emotions come into play enough to bring about further growth and what he calls self actualization. This is the transcendence that we speak of here. Getting past the physical, the cellular and the neural mind maps we have physically created and moving above them into feelings, problem solving, morality and profound creativity where we create new things in our lives easily and on a whim. Yes, the best selling self help books of America are not betraying us with what they are selling. Get rich quick, create anything you need over night and being your personal best as the titles offer are all real possibilities, for everybody, without exclusion, provided you have this foundation for change cemented in place first.

Addiction comes about through an array of neuro-adaptive changes and the laying down and strengthening of new memory connections in various circuits in the brain. We do not yet know all the relevant mechanisms, but the evidence suggests that those long-lasting brain changes are responsible for the distortions of cognitive and emotional functioning that characterize addicts, particularly including the compulsion to use drugs that is the essence of addiction.

The work in the book will show you just how to do that to move beyond or transcend our thoughts that have converted into an hostile physical and emotional reality. The Spiritual or higher parts of ourselves, the part that all the ancient texts refer to, is where we need to get to. Even if it’s second by send or moment by moment. We need a key to unlock the doorway through to the path of healing and enlightenment. The sound key is one such tool we have provided for you here is one of our most effective keys to moving through to healing your pain through pleasure. You should experience this ‘pleasure’ after each time you use your key. This is the process of how lasting healing can really begin for you. Creating the life you want, until it is intensely rooted back into memory and retained correctly as a pleasurable or good experience. All addiction, including being trapped and addicted to memory, is far from a pleasurable experience.

Memory says, once the solution comes, I will find peace.

Higher Self says, when I find peace, the solution will come.

Accessing this transcendent peace though creating a sound key that flips the switch on false memory perceptions is what we will do next.

Addiction and Memory

Addiction is addictive. Like attracts like. Bad brings more mad, as is with our universal laws of attraction. And so it is with anything toxic we bring into our lives. Bring in toxic substances and toxic relationships are bound to happen as a result. Toxic body and mind brings with it toxic associations, substances, foods and other attractions.

When athletes are described as being “in the zone,” they are operating from a state of learned performance. They may be performing at such a high level that they seem unstoppable. Every aspect of their performance may appear effortless, almost as if they were operating on autopilot from learned memory. It is as if they are in sync with the universe and have tapped into its tempo. This is the shift that is possible from despair to victory on the battlefields of our minds. How do we get there? We become aware that we are operating from unconscious memory patterns.

We observe that what we think, feel and do are all out of whack and are not working for us. So we intentionally stop the pattern. We invade the process with conscious effort and re-wire what our brain thinks it knows is good for us. The evidence of the pathological patterns can be seen in the chaos of our lives. It can be felt with every breath. We keep doing what doesn’t work and become trapped like lions stalking through the grass, willing to maim, destroy and kill or be killed to endure the nightmare. Addicts through to the anxious are normally always lodged in survival mode. Three dominant responses of fight, flight or freeze dominate our responses to people, places, conversations, events and things. Yet, we are seemingly incapable of doing anything to get out of the brutal cycle. We become isolated and incapable of doing what we want and ought, and do what doesn’t work again and again. This is the true face of addiction.

Perhaps this is why Saint Paul exclaimed in the book of Romans that “ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin [addiction] living in me…I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing [addiction] Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin l[addiction] living in me that does it”.

That sin and evil desire within himself that Paul describes is possibly what we are starting to understand about addiction and our minds and memory today. Our cells get hooked on the memory of the process.

 Addicts are looking forward to a deep sense of peace. A real pleasurable experience is not the one you remember from the chaos of yesterday’s using. We can’t erase but rather replace the memories. Mantras, Mindfulness, Meditation and Spiritual experience sensed through the body, mind and soul create positive and sustainable patterns of healthy living.

Remember that addictive patterns are not sustainable. Neither is staying addicted to memory. Getting pleasure from massively overeating is not sustainable. It ends in heart disease and hip replacements. Remember that breathing in cigarette smoke and pleasurably easing the tension leads to a dozen forms of cancer that is not sustainable. Getting pleasure from gym and running and meditation is however highly sustainable. It works in the long term. It is non-toxic, and therefore we get toxic free results happening in our lives that we end up calling miracles of transformation. This is healing addiction in its highest capacity.

For more information regarding the subject of being addicted to memory contact us. Get involved with a program. Learn about the power of mindfulness and meditation. Heal addictions once and for all. Spend some time at our center. Personal transformation is the new currency that is as priceless as wisdom has been since the big bang.

A Course in recovery